I've Come to the End of Myself....Pushing My Limits

Some days, I don't feel so fabulous.  Some days I'm sure that I won't make it through this transitional time in my life, that I won't be able to face the mountains I see on the horizon.  They look daunting and frightening and BIG and too tall to climb.....but I know in order to get to the other side, I have to.  If I walk around the mountain, I'll end up facing another one just as big or bigger, so in my heart of hearts, I know it's time to put on my hiking boots, pack my backpack and WALK. TO. MY. DESTINY.  It's at that point I realize I've come to the end of myself and I have to draw from somewhere DEEP inside in order to put one foot in front of the other.

Recently, I begin to make the necessary changes in my life to work towards becoming healthier and stronger.  I've always heard that you can't change anything about your life until you change your mind, and that's where it starts BUT that's only the beginning. You can talk, dream and wonder about it, but it will never happen until you BELIEVE you can. (See my previous post, She Believed She Could So She Did)  The next step is to DO.  Believing gets you motivated but doing propels you into motion, to move you towards your goals.  This journey is cathartic for me, purging me of my old ways, habits, and patterns that left me feeling worn, broken, discouraged and exhausted.  Physically, I struggle with arthritis in my knee and tendonitis in my ankle.  For so long, I allowed the pain to dictate my activity (or lack thereof).  I was idle because it hurt to move, but what I didn't realize is that it was hurting me NOT to move.  I made the personal decision to begin taking Glucosamine Chondroitin in hopes that it might improve my situation. I was told that it helps some but that others see no change.  Fortunately for me, it has done wonders. I began eating better, drinking more water, became more active during the day, (i.e., getting up more often from my desk, and taking a quick walk around the building where I work, every hour).  In the evenings I take a  brisk 2 mile walk with my daughter and our two dogs (and our fur babies have both lost weight as a result!) I then added cardio workouts with weights and floor exercises to the mix a few times a week.  I've been amazed at how much better both my knee and ankle are, movement matters!

I decided to PUSH THE LIMITS, go deeper into myself, beyond the superficial, and to rise above the pain.

I was told by my doctor that the best thing for me would be to get healthy and exercise to prevent further damage to both my knee and ankle, but that I should not do any form of exercising that would cause me to pound the pavement, which left me with very few options, like the stationery bike.  However, my favorite form of exercise is to walk, to breathe in the fresh air, to feel my feet launching me forward, to have the sun shining in my face, to be outside and to be going somewhere.  Stationery equipment doesn't thrill me or motivate me very much, but that's just a personal choice, you should do whatever works for you. 

 

The course I'm on now is preparing me physically and mentally for what's next.  I've sensed it, felt it and discerned it for some time now, knowing the changes I am facing, so I finally relented and accepted that if this is my time of transition, then the best thing I could do is to embrace it.  I like to call those revelations "becoming moments", because it really is about finally allowing myself to become who I've always been.  No more hiding behind the expectations of others, living by the standards that someone else sets for me or looking to be validated by them. I endorse myself because the strength I need has been within me all a long.  Sometimes, it takes coming to the end of yourself to truly recognize who you are, to realize your worth, your value and your tenacity.  Push the limits, the power is within you!